Contradicting Christmas

Today we hit the mall for our annual stocking shopping and to finish up other last minute gifts. Not surprisingly, it was a mad house! Children yelling, music blaring, and bells ringing only make up a fraction of the auditory smorgasbord. All of this, I was expecting. I had also psyched myself up for crows, long lines, and the occasional tall guy walking into my 4’10” self. What shocked me, were the details within these crowds that I observed while standing in long lines or following in the parade of people crawling, running, rolling skipping etc. into each store. People were yelling, laughing behind others’ backs, leaving small children in the wake as they dashed for the desired big ticket items. Of course I understand that Christmas has become highly materialistic and commercialized, but to abuse and compete with others to purchase as much as possible seems to be contradicting the meaning of Christmas. I even ended up walking in front of two young men who were admittedly enjoying running into other people and stopping them in their tracks. I just wonder, if I wasn't so focused on the fact that I have to spend Christmas without my daddy, if I was not so set on being able to survive Christmas, let alone enjoy it, would I have noticed all this inhumane behavior? Would I be oblivious, or would I be a part of it? This holiday season I have my time and energy examining myself, my family, and how we will all keep moving forward not just through the crows or the checkout line, but through this holiday, and all the days and holidays to come.